Picture the scenario… I have a major part in a play called ‘Mummy’. I’ve been rehearsing for months and know all the words, cues and moves inside-out. Now it’s opening night. What could possibly go wrong?
But as I make my entrance things don’t go exactly to plan. Some of the scenery has moved, my props are missing and one of the doors won’t open. Worst of all, the rest of the cast are speaking a completely different script to the one I’ve rehearsed. The plot is still moving in the right direction but my lines don’t fit any more. What can I do? The audience are sitting eagerly in their seats, waiting for an Olivier Award winning performance. I guess I’ll just have to carry on regardless and make it up as I go along.
This has been my experience of entering the mystical realm of motherhood. Before I made my entrance into this realm I thought I knew everything. I’d read all the books after all! I felt secretly superior to mothers who didn’t match up to this rose-tinted ‘ideal parent’ persona that I had created in my head from my piles of Amazon research. I was going to do it differently. I was going to be the perfect mum.
Well what can I say? My darling daughter is now five months old and I am not the person I was back in the tropical days of the summer of 2013. From the start I learnt that things rarely go to plan and very little about being a mum is predictable or manageable by following a set of rigid rules. What can I do but ad lib?
So this is my blog. A place to reflect on my learning curve, talk about my experiences, share my outlook on life as a mother and generally waffle as I make it up as I go along.